Amber (punkybroodster) wrote,

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Last night was sort of...nuts. Well really, I went sort of nuts. People were really making me mad last night, being all loud and annoying. Most of the people from 'my group' found out that I was bi last night, and Josh was all freaking out thinking I was hitting on Carly and shit. I was extremely happy and crazy when we first got there, but then I hit one of my lowest lows last night, if Gina hadn't been there, I probably would have done myself in, seriously. I also told Gina that I liked her. Dorky me. I also told her all the crazy shit that goes on in my head, I also made Carly worry like crazy about me, cause I decided to go driving after drinking way to much. Gina went with me, though she shouldn't have cause it was way dangerous, poor people who put up with my shit. I should have just gone home earlier in the night like I had planned. I just really wanted to be alone. I'm sick of being depressed all the time, and even though they say that they don't, my friends have to feel obligated to comfort me, and they really don't need to, sometimes its better to just let me stew in my own thoughts. I know I make other people sad/depressed when they're around me, I'm thinking about not hanging out w/ anyone anymore cause I'm such a freaking drag.

I honestly wish I could just be happy or at least faintly cheerful most of the time, its nice when I am. These extreme highs/lows really suck, I make an ass out of myself when I'm really overly-excited and happy, and I make everyone depressed when I'm low. It sucks, sucks, sucks.

And shit. I have to work, that really sucks. :( Off to work for amber! Think I'm going to go buy a distillers cd today too, and other crap. yay for crap!
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